A Dance of Demand and Desire: Lunar Eclipse in Libra

In the earliest hours of each day, I sit with my cup of coffee at my writing desk for my morning pages. This morning, I found myself pondering the effect of tonight’s Lunar Eclipse in Libra on my chart personally, as well as for the collective. 

I want to begin by confessing that, in the past, I've caused a lot of harm to myself and others by obsessing over upcoming eclipses and other astrological transits, frantically trying to feel 'prepared' for what may arrive. But often in doing so, I created harmful assumptions and sent my body fully into defense mode, riling at the first sign of a proposed threat and creating much more unnecessary drama to the situation at hand. 

I have taken a new approach to transits since becoming a professional astrologer, and that being, “Let what comes, come. And let what goes, go.” As an astrologer, I love to feel aware of the themes or topics that can be highlighted, but the Universe has a much higher plan than whatever my human brain can comprehend. I have left behind the days of trying to predict the future, and decided to trust that in retrospect, all will make sense how perfectly it all unfolded for my highest good.

With this philosophy in mind, I let my ego step back and allowed my soul to come forward for this channeled message. Once it was complete, I felt strongly that this is a message meant to be shared with you all as you also navigate the energy this eclipse may bring.

May it serve you well, putting ease in your mind, and cultivating openness in your heart.

The Lunar Eclipse in Libra will happen at 12am Pacific Time tonight, Monday, March 25th. This is the first of two eclipses, the second being a Total Solar Eclipse in Aries on April 8th. The Libra/Aries axis highlights our need to create healthy, interpersonal relationships that honor both our individual sovereignty and our need for loving connection with others. Eclipses offer massive shifts in the area of our lives in which they interact with our personal natal chart, as well as for the collective consciousness.

{For context of this channeled message, the South Node (representing the past, one’s comfort zone, and what we’re letting go of in this lifetime) will eclipse exactly on top of my Mercury in Libra at 15 degrees, which represents how I think, speak, communicate and express my voice. My partner’s Sun in Aries also lands at 15 degrees in exact opposition to my Mercury, and therefore will be directly opposite of this eclipse.

To keep it simple, it is likely this eclipse will bring awareness to old ways of communicating (Mercury) in my relationship (Libra) which are ready to be let go of (South Node). For him, this will likely arrive as an invitation to let go of outdated ways of relating (transiting South Node in Libra) to himself and his identity (natal Sun in Aries) in order to move forward in his soul’s evolution.}

Mar 24, 2024

I notice how the wounded part of me quickly falls into black-and-white thinking (as a result of my inner child wounding) where "if" something does or doesn't happen, "then" a brash decision has to be made. It leaves little room for anything other than immediate change - which is often not very gentle on anyone's nervous system. I think the grace of the feminine, in her highest expression, offers space for change, met with patience, empathy, and understanding. Instead of demands, she offers requests, not from her ego but from her heart. 

Requests often carry a frequency of permission – they allow space for the entire growth process to unfold in its Divine Timing. They can be followed up with gentle reminders or nudges. They don't carry the fear of consequence supervised with a critical eye and a whip in hand, but rather should the request be unable to be matched or fulfilled, it's met with an understanding shrug - sometimes another chance, sometimes a graceful pivot and direction change.

Requests are born of mutual respect, but most importantly self-respect and self-love. Demands are born of the ego – the scared, fractured part of oneself that tries so hard to look tough and feel powerful. But in fact, demands are just wounds asking to be remedied, to feel safe. Of course, this philosophy only makes sense when speaking to interpersonal relationships; a demand for a ceasefire or climate action no longer falls within the territory of a request, for boundaries of well-being, autonomy, freedom and humanitarianism have been crossed.

Yet often the ego wants us to believe that these types of threats exist within disagreements or conflicts in relationships with those we love, because they hit so close to our most tender and vulnerable pieces. Though 99% of the time, they don't even come close to the realm of a real 'threat.' 

To make a request, versus a demand, is a way of saying, "I love you, I love us, and I think this could get even better." Requests require our active participation, to make decisions every day to stay true to a promise. It asks us if we are willing to move beyond our own ego and see the request for what it is – a call for deeper connection. If this is something the other person wants as well, they make an empowered choice to do everything in our power to meet that request…because it is driven by love, not by fear. 

Demands alert the nervous system to a threat – you'll lose something that matters to you, often signaling a choice of either/or, which activates a fear response and the ego steps in immediately to protect us, to defend our position from what (who) is now perceived as the enemy. 

It takes an immense amount of maturity to form a non-threatening request to someone we love; it requires thoughtfulness, compassion, and conscious awareness. Demands are easy; a slam of the fist on the table, raising one’s voice, the white-hot flame within flaring up as the nervous system sounds the alarm. As humans, we are equipped to move into fight, flight or freeze at a moment's notice as a survival mechanism, though the body rarely is able to decipher the difference between ‘actual’ and ‘perceived’ threats. The real work is to stay centered in our true power in these moments of disconnection – which is to remain connected to our own authenticity and integrity. 

A request also acknowledges the potential that our beloved is either unwilling or incapable to meet it, but responds to that acknowledgement not with fear, but with acceptance for whatever the outcome may be. Demands hold so tight to their desired outcome that any variation is not enough, it doesn't make us feel safe; compromise is out of the question. In a conscious relationship, the power of faith in love is far stronger than the fear of the ego; it is strong enough to believe that we are worthy of the love we desire and trust in our partner's ability to meet us there.

A request gives space for our loved one to come towards us; a demand repels immediately to retreat and defend. Issuing demands makes us feel that we are owed something; requests acknowledge the autonomy and free will of all beings, and that no one owes us anything. Requests can be still be received/heard as demands by those with a wounded heart or fearful inner child, creating the same physiologic effect as a vindictive demand. However, requests delivered with an abundance of care and non-violent communication, met by an open mind and heart yearning for connection, an incredible opportunity for growth and healing arrives for all. 

In the moments we feel most triggered to “demand,” the highest path to healing lies in our ability to choose “request” instead. 

And so it is.

Written by: Jaelyn Harly